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  • Imposter syndrome.

    I feel like I have not been honest in years. Honest in my art. I come here to be fully delusional, that’s okay. As we all collectively realized at some point this year: delusion is the only way out of the constant misery. I fear I may have lost my voice, lost it to the…

    Read more: Imposter syndrome.

  • In my Pop Commentator Era.

    I read a lot. The comments on all those instagram and tik tok posts. I read them alot. I get misinformed a lot. If I had to quantify I would say maybe twenty percent because I like to research a lot. Today I researched Zendaya earning one million dollars per episode, based on the emotions…

    Read more: In my Pop Commentator Era.

  • Wake Up

    Waking up the morning after you almost died is mad crazy. I remember faintly that I had to stand in the mirror, hug myself and tell myself for the first time in a while, that I loved myself, and that it is okay. I will be fine, and I have myself. I will take care…

    Read more: Wake Up

  • Best wishes and kind regards.

    The last time I published anything it was a big success. The 500 readers I got was my equivalent of a standing ovation, virtual confetti was everywhere, my therapist was amazed, the progress was definitive and obvious. I was no longer mentally ill, self diagnosed. You can relax, I love to use the word mental…

    Read more: Best wishes and kind regards.

Themes

  • Trust Fund Baby.

    Trust Fund Baby.

    This is a second part to my series: trying to get back to myself. My raw, unfiltered self. Working hard is tough I tell you. As a child even when they gave me advice about working hard I hated it. I was raised with such an entittlement to my feelings and I would roll my…

  • Chaotic Happiness

    Chaotic Happiness

    I love to live in chaos. The media recently has really endorsed the concept of chaos, and I thrive in being seen. Normalised chaos, organised chaos. Chaos defined, approved. That’s my kink. I stare at this coffee cup. I got the decaf, I do not need caffeine like that. It is a new year and…

  • Musings of a misunderstood enby.

    Musings of a misunderstood enby.

    I am sorry that I have been gone for so long. I had to focus all my creative juices on staying alive. I am now in my mid twenties and all this makes me feel is mid. I miss the fire of 21, or saying I am 21. I cannot say I was happier, because…

  • AdudaHera’s scheduling.

    AdudaHera’s scheduling.

    I have been working on myself. I have never worked on myself like I am now. You see, in my hierarchy of things I thought needed work on, Psychological health came first, then emotional health, seamlessly flowing to financial health, then lastly came physical health. The day this year that I went to the gym…

  • MY ART.

    I’ve always wondered. On my happiest I remember my saddest moments like I almost expect happiness to be closely followed by extreme sadness. You know, as it’s always been in my life. I also wonder when I will stop being like this. First things first I’ve always struggled with money. I’ve always hoped that I…

  • Wishful thinking of a stupid girl.

    Wishful thinking of a stupid girl.

    I had a short sit down with a workmate yesterday, feeling all hungry and depressed because of what we all concluded to be because of the oppression we had experienced up until this point in our lives as young inters barely making a thing. Well, some of us more than others on the oppression thing,…

  • Imposter syndrome.

    I feel like I have not been honest in years. Honest in my art. I come here to be fully delusional, that’s okay. As we all collectively realized at some point this year: delusion is the only way out of the constant misery. I fear I may have lost my voice, lost it to the…

  • In my Pop Commentator Era.

    I read a lot. The comments on all those instagram and tik tok posts. I read them alot. I get misinformed a lot. If I had to quantify I would say maybe twenty percent because I like to research a lot. Today I researched Zendaya earning one million dollars per episode, based on the emotions…

  • Wake Up

    Waking up the morning after you almost died is mad crazy. I remember faintly that I had to stand in the mirror, hug myself and tell myself for the first time in a while, that I loved myself, and that it is okay. I will be fine, and I have myself. I will take care…